The most wonderful and interesting things happen to me.  Funny things just fall into my lap day after day.  Some people try to analyze this and give me credit of always being on the watch for funny things and always having a high sense of humor and always living as if the glass is overflowing.

That’s all true from time to time.  But, I think more often than not the issue is that I sometimes can’t hear well or that sometimes I don’t pay attention, or that I’m prone to mistakes.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not upset when those things happen – occasionally.  It helps make life a bit perkier.

The most recent funny event happened yesterday. I’ve been working with Feed the Children about a delivery of food for a local non-profit that helps agencies feed the homeless.  A new person called yesterday and left a message that I call her back at my convenience.  She left an 800 number.  I called it and got a message I hadn’t heard before.  “Get your pencil ready, that number has been redirected to another number.  The new number is 1-900...”  You heard me correctly. 900.  For years I’ve heard stories about 900 numbers, and they usually have something to do with heavy breathing, sexual promises, and really weird people.

I know Feed the Children well, and it’s a marvelous organization.  Unless it was branching out, ifyaknowwhatImean, this was a great departure.

Just for a fleeting second – no, really, less than a second.  Actually probably even less than less of a second. – I wondered what a 900 number would say.  And, was someone standing outside my office window recording the conversation?  But, you’ll be so proud of me.  I didn’t hesitate a second in hanging up.  Well, perhaps a very slight bit more than a second.  Right after the recording went on to explain that each call would be $1.99.

I called my previous contact at FTC and explained that I needed another number. I explained why. She laughed, explaining I had written down the number incorrectly, but I could see her shaking her head through the phone line.  Admittedly, my curiosity was peaked, but $1.99 is a lot of money.

Another accidental incident I feel I must share was when I was driving and listening to the radio.  The station had just played an “oldies” number from the 80’s.  Then a commercial started with no music and the announcer proclaimed – SWAP YOUR BRIDE.  I about rammed into the back of a police cruiser when I heard that invitation.  (pause) The advertiser was a used car dealer.  You got it.  The announcer had said Swap Your Ride.

You must admit.  My way is much more interesting.